Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Crawlies of DOOM!

I'm pretty sure every person reading this agrees with me instantly. I find it bizzare (yes bizzare not funny, i don't care if it's the wrong theme for the blog, shuttit it's my blog) that Roaches seem to have a special awareness to my very existence. It's an evolution of the hive mind, as if millions of roaches of all species in the whole wide world are plotting against me. Why? I'll tell you god damn why.

Because somehow roaches have a tendency to find me wherever I am on earth. Even in their perspective as small insignificant... well insects... they should see the whole earth as how we see the whole universe. But noooooooo their Anas+Shafiq-Radar is ever so vigilant, seeking our trembling (shafiq) and gagging (moi) bodies with ease. 

1. The worst they'd catch you is when you are at your most vulnerable. Ok fine I'll speak as a first person narrative. It's when I was at MY most vulnerable possition. I was happily showering in the morning, buff nekkid when a roach crawled out of the drainage and scattered near my feet. Using my mighty weapon-cum-gayungmandi I splashed water to get him away from my feet and into the drainage. Horraahh I win! Not taking any chances, I closed the drainage.

1.b. Yes so many days later I thought I've rid of the bastard but another time I bathed I saw his bloody antennae peering through the holes of the drainage hatch thingie, saying "heloooo incek Anas. Awak di situ ke?" Splish splash and back he goes down the drain. Victory number 2!

1.c. Revenge of the Roach... Weeks later I've felt comfortable again so I let the drainage hatch open, just for the heck of it. As I mentioned before, they always... ALWAYS catch you in your most vulnerable position. I's nekkid, in the shower with nowhere to run, shampooing my hair, a little bit of shampoo caught in my eye causing it to burn (yeah well I don't use no-more-tears but neither do you right?), and right at the bloody moment did I feel something crawling up my leg. 

WARGHHH!!! Shook my leg as if I wanted to rip it off myself. Flailed my arms desperately looking for the gayung, splash some water on my teary eyes and there was the dood, scuttling happily near my feet. GARRRHH!!! I flushed down the drain and swore to never again open the pit of evil. 

wait there's more...

2. I was asleep. Tired as hell of a day's work. Suddenly I felt that which seemed to me then as if a mosquito or a small moth-like insect landed on my face and crawled to my mouth. I grabbed it by the legs and threw it away. Or was that really legs? Felt more like long devil antennae. In the darkness I opened my eyes and god bless my slightly nocturnal vision I saw a big six legged insect scuttle away under the door and off into its insectoid lair. ON MY BLOODY MOUTH MAN YUCK!

3. Lastly if they couldn't find you in time and had to finally leave this plain of existence, they'd make sure to die right in the hallway of your house. (Worst if in public restaurants where you often eat giving you imaginations where the little bugger has been romping about). They'd just lie there on their back. Why on their backs? Because they want you to see them with those disgusting sectioned abdomens and with legs high up in the sky in their last bid to wave 'Hi Anas. Just in case you forgot about me, I'm still disgusting and creepy even after death. Cheers!". 

You'd think any self-respecting MAN should never cower away from roaches. Pfffffttt it's not fear that gets me but utter disgust of their existence. I also know plenty of Shafiqs err i mean guys who are scared of them. I've never been afraid (or digusted, whichever you believe) of Roaches before. Heck I squished plenty of them when I was a kid. Slippers, the morning paper, even books if I had to. Any self-respecting kid would understand why of course since these little buggers are gross and back then it was fun to see all the squishy white bits squeeze through the abdomens like maggots out of an apple. Twas fun.

Naw they didn't bother me back then. Until... (cue cheesy dum dum dum music) 

3. I was with my sisters near Pudu. It was when we wanted to send my sister's then boyfriend to the station and before the demon seed vehicle moved (a bus really but I'll elaborate why i think busses are the demon's offsprings some other day) we thought of going to the nearby mamak for late supper. And that ladies and gentlemen was the single most biggestest mistake I've ever made in my entire life. 

As we ate, suddenly 7 - 8 roaches were flying about from the distance, closer and closer to our position. I thought of them as kelkatu at first but no those digusting big round bodies (I'm feeling nauseous already) and those evil brown wings were a pure indication. They came closer, seemed like they were having a flying orgy of some sort. So yeah it was a bloody disgusting sight but no the evil Roach-God-of-Death-and-Destruction didn't think that was enough. Noooo. The roaches attacked nearby patrons, running around shoulders, into girls hair (yesss IN THEIR HAIRS) and running on the tables.  A few were running around on tables and one ran over my sister's nasi goreng and one on my own dish. Still having food in my mouth and munching, the effect of seeing a roach running on my food, then later being squashed by the mamak who simply swept it under a refrigerator with his feet left me nauseous... FOREVER!

You see every single time I see a bloody roach, small big or even lifeless, I have the whole memory of that incident play in the back of my mind and it's as if I can taste the disgusting juices of the roache's white blood at the back of my throat as I slowly chewed and swallowed my contaminated food. 


I find it funny that roaches have a personal vendetta against me

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Official business

It's strange, and funny at the same time. I've handled many things before. Having meetings with top management and director while knowing I'll have my ass handed to me, trip to overseas and make decisions on the mixing for the film, made phone calls to companies local and overseas that involves big money, many many things that would have left scared shitless and trembling. 

Yet the minute I stepped into the RHB Bank branch earlier today to make a deposit to my credit card, my hands were sweaty and the hairs on my back stood. The deposit slip shaked in my palms and when it was my turn, I crept nervously to the counter.

"Dah ada ASB account?" Akak counter


Ok so maybe I'm exaggerating the whole thing... a little. But really I somehow get really really nervous with all this normal official stuff that I shouldn't. Banks, Car related stuff, ASB, House rental, even bloody post office errands. Really really.

I somehow have this fear that the person in charge will shove down their administration down my throat and lock me up for a million years. Somewhat lah! I'm still trying to get used to this. 

I find it funny that I'm nervous with post office and banks.

Films and tickets

Picture this; While kids cry and parents try every little energy in them to supress all angst and dissapointment, the LCP team rejoice and applaud looking at the cinema screen showing Geng tickets are sold out.

We're sorry you didn't get to watch it yet, but we love you so much for your support.

I find it funny that people react differently to Geng's ticket sales.

Monday, March 2, 2009

I find me blogging about bloggers funny

Seriously... 30 minutes spent at 1.30am to blog about bloggers.

Sad innit? Naaawwww I'm waiting for Zaki to finish up on his work.(alasan)

I find me funny

I still find bloogers funny

Why? Cos bloggers are inconsistent beings. So here it is, our film explodes and so too does the online coverage of the product. Early bloggers gave rave reviews and told everyone to watchit. So everyone did. And now every single humble audience who has a personal blog (well that's quite a lot now innit?) has expressed his/her overjoyed experience of the film in their own blog. Now wait I dont condone of this. I love it extremely. It is with these sort of blog posts do the drive to try harder and to climb higher keep on burning in me. I thank all who have supported and all who have watched.

So what's funny? Those who originally gave good reviews about us, then suddenly realised that his/her blog isn't so special anymore since everyone else gave a good review as well. I mean come on we gotta be different right? 

So what can you do when everyone else is giving two thumbs up and the likes? Why give them the exact opposite of course! Show them what you think! Prove through your review how smarter you are and how well you would've done it better if you have had the same chance. Be the most anal as you can be and disect the story like a cadaver! Cringe while others applaud! 

Yeap that's how you'll get the attention. By being an inconsistent insincere nitwit and say the exact opposite of what you felt early on. 

Nerds... all you had to do was be honest in the beginning and I'd respect that. If you didn't like it... finnnee... if you liked it... wahey let's be friends! 

But don't go around telling two different stories altogether. 

Oh I also find "reviewers" who dissect films by going through minute by minute looking into every aspect and detail to find faults and mistakes a buncha hillarious geeks. Can you imagine how hillarious these people seem to be. To pay 10 bucks, walk into a hall (with popcorn and softdrink in hand... or not) and to NOT do the one thing you're supposed to do in a cinema hall... watch and enjoy the film, but instead aaannaaallise. (Have you ever felt that it's funny the word analyse can't be spelt without 'anal'?[ yes i'm a english twit who spells analyse with an s, so shutit you yanks])  

I'm not talking about people who watches films and critic them. Naw that's fine. I do that all the time. I'm talking about these doods who keep their watches ready, watching the film, eye on the minute handle and going "AHA!!! 10th minute and nothing happens!! Not so smart now Mr Director!!" or "Ahah! Where is the plot point?! Where is the midpoint?! And by god how does this all fit into the Hero's journey I've learnt in class?!!!"   

Because we took the hero's journey archetype and threw it out the window. Why? Because it's just a guideline you nerds... Chill and just enjoy the film. If you don't, then fine eat your popcorn and stop looking at the watch. The film will be over soon. 

Wahey looks like I'm back to ranting again!

I find film critic bloggers funny

ps- I still respect and appreciate all who have watched, enjoyed/not so much enjoyed, and gave their reviews about Geng. All your feedbacks (both good and bad) have been taken into account. Seriously, chill. I get it that the snake was scary. I respect even those who didn't enjoy the film but supported us anyway. It means a lot to me. 

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

I find it funny that LCPeans work they way we do

Well okay this goes straight regarding The Making of Geng or Geng: Di Sebalik Tabir. When a director came in to prove he was right for the job of directing a full live action feature film under our producer's support, we rejected it and said it was way too boring and serious. We wanted the making of geng to be fun and informative. 

Of course he didn't get it but that's beside the point. The point is our team took over the project and worked so hard to make it as fun as possible aside being very informative to mainstream audience. After another revamp of the project, we finally got it right. All the pioneers acted as lively as we could, making ridiculous jokes and acting, basically making a fool of ourselves in hopes that audiences would really enjoy it.

So what's funny? Now the team just realised everyone in Malaysia would probably have seen the show and will recognize us and our ridiculous gags. Now the team is ever shy with whatever it is they did and hope not too many people would have seen the show and recognize us in the streets.

I find us funny

Saturday, January 17, 2009

I find it funny that I'm shy of my postings

This just happened a while ago. I just found out that my colleague knows of this blog without me advertising it and she has actually read my old Voobe blog. What's weirder is that she's read it even before entering LCP.


But then a blog is public and anything I write is free for all to read. It's funny that I let myself pour thoughts and opinions in blogs with obscenity and ocassional profanity without wanting anyone outside to read it. Silly Anas. Blogs aren't supposed to be private. Hypocrite. I bet she's smiling at this Irony.

I find it funny that I don't really like people reading my blog